Private Me
by Hey Missy
Summary: Josh Nichols and his personal journal. Josh/Mindy - Josh/Drake. Short chapters so nobody gets bored.
1. December, 25 – 2001

**Disclaimer: I don't own Drake and Josh, but if I could...haha**

**A/N: Dates and facts are not accurate. Stick to the story instead.**

December, 25 – 2001

Well, um, hi there! My name is Josh Nichols and this is my personal journal.

I was born on November,10 in 1986, I'm 15 years old and here I'm going to write a little about me and my life.

I live in San Diego, California with my family. My mommy died when I was 8 but some years later my dad married again. He seems very happy now, so I'm happy too. My dad's called Walter, my step mom Audrey ( I just call her Mom), my stepsister Megan and Drake.

Drake is my stepbrother and my best friend. He's only a few months older than me. At first we didn't have a lot in common but now it's like he's part of me. We sleep in the same room, go to the same school ( that's Belleview High, btw) and do a whole lot of things together.

My dad gave me this notebook for Christmas, he said it's an authentic Moleskine , he said I should use it to write down my ideas for School Projects but I think I know better. haha

Drake also has one. Dad said he could write his songs in it. Ah yes, Drake is a musician and says one day he'll be a rock star. I totally believe in him because he does look like one and he's very talented.

Well, I think it's okay for now. Soon, I'll be back.

J.N.

**A/N: Please keep in mind that just like you don't judge a book by its cover you shouldn't judge this story by its first chapter. Keep on reading! Thank you for stopping by.**


	2. January, 05 – 2002

January, 05 – 2002

School's back!

You know, there's this girl, let's call her Mandy Creepshow.

Creepshow. haha

It's not like I hate her because 'hate' is a very strong word but like, she really annoys me sometimes. Her Science Projects are always better than mine and every time we're near each other she makes me feel like I'm a loser. Last year we were in Chemistry and I asked her why is it that she didn't like me and you know what she said? 'It's because you're Josh Nichols' and then she turned and walked away. I felt so lame.

J.N.

**Thank you for reading.**


	3. February, 20 – 2002

**Disclaimer: I don't own Drake and Josh****.**

February, 20 – 2002

Today I was at the gym waiting for Drake and I was sitting at the bleachers while I waited. I pretended to read my English book but actually I was looking at the court.

Creepshow was there. She was auditioning for cheerleader and she was wearing one of those short skirts and under it she was wearing really short shorts and when she jumped I saw them and it was like...My entire body reacted! When Drake arrived I had to pretend I was holding my English book so I could cover myself. I could have died of embarrassment.

I felt so helpless. It was good, though.

J.N.

**Thank you. More soon.**


	4. March, 17 – 2002

**Disclaimer: I don't own Drake&****Josh.**

March, 17 – 2002

Hey, guess what??? I have a job now!!! Yeah!!

Me and Drake went to the Premiere to watch a movie and then this guy gave me his red vest with a capitol 'P' on it and it was such an awesome vest! I put it on and suddenly everyone was talking to me. Then this really nice woman named Helen said I was now working for her and she would be my boss.

I'm loving it so much!! I can save for college now. Dad said he's proud of me.

J.N.

p.s. Drake is working with me too! Double awesomeness!!!

**Thank you for reading. Next chapter the boys will have some action. Well, sort of. Just wait and see. haha**


	5. April, 04 – 2002

**Disclaimer: I don't ****own Drake&Josh.**

April, 04 – 2002

Today was such an awesome day! Like really, REALLY awesome!

Mom, Dad and Megan went to visit Grammy. Me and Drake stayed because we had to work but when we got home Drake was like, totally insane! He said we should strip to our undies since no one was home and I was really afraid but he calmed me down and said everything was ok and when he says everything is ok I believe him.

Then we ordered pizza and sat on the couch drinking Mountain Fizz. We had a belching contest – yeah I know but it was funny – then he sang his new song to me, a really sad song about having to hide your feelings and sometimes I feel like I can relate to that. Then I showed him my latest card trick and he seemed genuinely surprised when I guessed which card he had picked.

Then we watched this really bad movie about some dumb vampire and when the fangy guy was about to bite the girl Drake turned to me and said ' Now me goin' to bite you neck' and he did and I felt his teeth sinking into my neck, it hurt at first but then he licked it and this sent goose bumps all over my body and I was like ' Stop it! That tickles!' and then he blew me a kiss, winked and said in a really waggish voice: 'Joshie, my dear, in your age we don't call it tickles anymore' and then I laughed so hard my belly hurt.

It was such a great day, I wish we could do this more often.

J.N.

**Thank you. Hope you liked it. ****I know I enjoyed writing it. ;)**

**More soon. **


	6. April, 12 – 2002

**Disclaimer: I don't ****own Drake&Josh.**

April, 12 – 2002

Drake downloads porn.

Way too much, imo.

Sometimes he sits in my bed and asks me what I think after showing me some stuff.

He doesn't laugh because I've just gone flaming red. He just sits there and waits to see how I react.

He knows I never kissed and he's cool about it. He doesn't make fun of me like those jocks in school.

The other day after watching yet another one of those movies I confessed I felt lonely sometimes and how I'd like to have a girlfriend.

He looked me in the eyes and was like: 'I could be your girlfriend if you liked.'

I had to bite the pillow in order to muffle my rip-roaring laughter.

J.N.

**A/N: This is a work of FICTION. By no means I endorse exposing minors to pornography.**


	7. May, 06 – 2002

**Disclaimer: I don't ****own Drake&Josh.**

**A/N Misspelling is Joshs', not mine. haha**

May, 06 – 2002

I met this really nice guy. Almost just as nice as Drake.

Now Drake is all over me saying things like 'I'm not your brother anymore.'

But he's wrong! Drake will always be my brother and my best friend. And I told him exactly why: because we chose it to be this way.

I think I saw a tear in his left eye after I said it but of course he'll never admit so I'm fine.

J.N.

**Thank you. More soon.**


	8. May, 16 – 2002

**Disclaimer: I don't ****own Drake&Josh.**

May, 16 – 2002

I think someone has been reading this because it wasn't in the same position I left it the

last time. At first I thought it was Megan but then she always had that mischief smile.

Drake? I don't believe he would do this because he respects me. Or so I think.

Oh well, guess I'll have to find somewhere else to hide.

There's money missing from my wallet too.

J.N.

**Thank you. More soon.**


	9. June,08 – 2002

**Disclaimer: I don't ****own Drake&Josh.**

June,08 – 2002

Me and Creepshow were assigned for the same Science Project. We'll be meeting a lot in order to get things done. Know what? I'm somewhat looking forward to it.

There, I said it!

J.N.

**Thank you. Stay tuned.**


	10. June,10 – 2002

**Disclaimer: I don't ****own Drake&Josh.**

June,10 – 2002

Me and Mindy (yes, it's her real name) were at home today taking notes for our Project.

Drake was acting really weird!

He kept walking to the kitchen where we sat at the kitchen table and opening the fridge. He did it like three times in a row!

I finally got fed up and told him to stop!

I wish I could take Mindy to our room so we could have some peace and quiet time to study but me and Drake already have agreed to never take a girl there. He calls it our den. I think it shouldn't be like that because like, Mindy is not a girl, I mean, she's a friend and not like Drake's concept of 'girl'.

J.N.

p.s. Mindy smells of crème brûlée. I know, weird, but I kind of like it.

**A few notes:**

**I'm in a creative frenzy! I just can't stop writing! lol**

**I'm happy people are reading this but still no reviews? waaaaah**

**I sense a few to none dig ( that's so 90's lol) the Josh/Mindy thing but it's important for the story flow.**

**Thank you once again!**


	11. June, 28 – 2002

**Disclaimer: I don't ****own Drake&Josh.**

June, 28 – 2002

The Science Project was a huge success! We scored a big fat 10!!!!

Mindy was so happy she even hugged me. In front of the whole class!

It felt so good. I wish I could hold her again.

J.N.

**Why, just that?**

**Yep! Blame Josh…**

**More soon tho.. :)**


	12. September, 22 – 2002

**Disclaimer: I don't ****own Drake&Josh.**

September, 22 – 2002

Me and Mindy KISSED!!!!!!!!

Like really, really kissed! It had tongue involved.

She said I can take her to the movies if I want.

And I do!

J.N.

**Thank you. Keep reading.**


	13. October, 06 – 2002

**Disclaimer: I don't ****own Drake&Josh.**

October, 06 – 2002

Me and Mindy are going to The Premiere tomorrow to watch a movie. I got free tickets.

We haven't decided what we're going to watch yet.

I wanna watch this movie about a cook that goes crazy and chases everybody around with his cleaver.

But Mindy wants a chick flick. Something about a girl that goes to college and falls in love with a guy that has cancer.

J.N.

p.s. Drake just asked if he could join us. And I was like of course…NOT!!!

haha

**Thank you. More later.**


	14. October, 07 – 2002

**Disclaimer: I don't ****own Drake&Josh.**

October, 07 – 2002

It was a really sad movie. Not that I know what happened because me and Mindy spent the whole movie holding hands and kissing but from what I noticed there were people crying in the end so I believe it must have been sad. Later I heard the guy dies of cancer and the girl ends up alone. Sad.

I can't stop thinking of Mindy. I think I like her. And I think she likes me back.

I'm feeling so good.

J.N.

**Hey there! I updated twice today. Guess I'm inspired. lol**

**Thank you.**


	15. November,11 – 2002

**Disclaimer: I don't ****own Drake&Josh.**

November,11 – 2002

It was my birthday yesterday. Sixteen candles! haha

I'm feeling so old.

Mindy called and said she had a surprise for me. She had baked me a birthday cake!

I think it was one of the cutest things someone has ever done for me. I mean, Mom bakes me cupcakes all the time but it's different.

Her parents were out so we sat there alone eating cake and it was really yummy, btw.

There was some frosting left on the side of my mouth and she licked it off and then things went wild!

Ok, nothing happened really. She straddled me and my hands were loose all over her body. She didn't stop me once.

But then she said it was late and that I should go home. I obeyed reluctantly.

I wanna do it so much . And I know she does too.

Sometimes I wish I could be more like Drake. He just chooses a girl and does it.

I think I'm gonna ask him some advice. He could teach the sex ed teacher!

J.N.

**Ok, I'm gonna sound really b*tchy now but I just have to say it! If you want to understand this story ****or even follow it you shouldn't skip any chapter. Now go back there and read it from the very beginning!! lol**

**Thank you for stopping by and thank you to all of those who are reading my other stories.**


	16. November, 13 – 2002

**Disclaimer: I don't ****own Drake&Josh.**

November, 13 – 2002

I'm really upset. Dad called me for a straight talk. He says I'm spending too much time with Mindy and neglecting all the rest. That's just not true!

My grades are still good and I still work at the Premiere, way different from Drake that has lousy grades and quitted the Premiere a long time ago.

I hate it when Dad treats me like a kid. I'm 16 now, I shave and I'm getting a driving license.

I said he should trust me more and I think he didn't like it but whatever. I said it and that's that.

J.N.

p.s. Megan just told me it was Drake who asked Dad to talk to me. What was he thinking?

**Thank you.**


	17. December, 25 – 2002

**Disclaimer: I don't ****own Drake&Josh.**

December, 25 – 2002

Merry Christmas!!

It's snowing. On tv.

haha

I'm missing Mindy; she's in Utah with her family.

Drake brought home a mistletoe. He kissed my cheek.

J.N.

**Stop skipping chapters!!! lol**


	18. January, 07 – 2003

**Disclaimer: I don't ****own Drake&Josh.**

January, 07 – 2003

Happy New Year!!

School is back and so is Mindy.

We kissed, kissed and kissed. And then we caught our breath back and kissed a little more. I made her promise to never leave me again.

J.N.

p.s. One thing I like about Mindy is that she doesn't care if I'm fat and ugly.

**Oh Josh…**

**Thank you.**


	19. May, 19 – 2003

**Disclaimer: I don't ****own Drake&Josh.**

May, 19 – 2003

Drake invited me to his gig. It's something big. He said he can put me in the VIP area and get me a backstage pass.

I asked if I could take Mindy and he was like, hell NO!!

I'm really sorry they don't get along; they could be friends.

J.N.

**Thank you. More soon.**


	20. May, 21 – 2003

**Disclaimer: I don't ****own Drake&Josh.**

May, 21 – 2003

The VIP area wasn't exactly for a VIP. It was just a small spot near the stage.

But I didn't really care because Drake nailed it!

There were about 40 girls there. And all of them yelling his name! It was deafening.

I called Mindy but she didn't answer. I think she's still angry because she wasn't invited. I tried to get her a ticket but she refused to attend.

After the show Drake and I sat for hours on the couch just talking about how rad it was and how he's gonna make it in L.A.

He keeps telling me I should go with him but I've already explained I want to go to college.

J.N.

p.s. I think I'm gay.

**Wait! ****What???**


	21. May, 27 – 2003

**Disclaimer: I don't own Drake and Josh****.**

May, 27 – 2003

Ok then. Since Drake isn't talking about it I'm gonna write it down.

We kissed! Yep, that's it! We K-I-S-S-E-D.

Last week, while we were on the couch talking after the gig.

He thinks I don't know but I do. He drank after the gig and was kind of tipsy when we arrived home but he was still cool and coherent so I thought it was ok.

Then things got out of control. He leaned in and said 'Josh', just that. And I was like 'Yeah?' and then he didn't say anything else, he didn't explain himself, he didn't stop. He straddled me and when I questioned what he was doing he leaned in with his hands on my chest and was all 'shhhhh' on me.

That was when we kissed.

At first only our lips were brushing slightly and then I opened my mouth in awe because I was really surprised. This was when I felt his tongue slipping all the way down my throat.

Now, I'm not gonna lie. I liked it. It felt good and I didn't think of the fact that he's my brother. He was there, on top of me, kissing, and I wanted more.

He pulled me near and deepened the kiss. Our crotches were grinding. I knew I should have stopped him.

But I didn't.

'It's ok baby, don't worry. Just loose yourself,' he murmured.

He motioned to open my fly. I could've told him to stop but instead I lifted my hips so he could pull my pants down freeing my full desire.

He grabbed my cock and looked into my eyes. 'You like this, don't you?' What could I say? It was so good I was seeing stars. He stroked me, the way only boys know what it's like. I pushed myself into his fist, his thumb rubbing over the slit. My brain went numb. I nearly died.

J.N.

p.s. I don't want to be gay. I don't know if I can handle this.

**Thank you.**


	22. September, 02 – 2003

**Disclaimer: I don't ****own Drake&Josh.**

September, 02 – 2003

I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself.

I don't want to think of Drake the way I do. I don't want to cheat on Mindy. Because, yes, thinking of someone else when you already have someone is like cheating.

J.N.

**Yep, short.**

**Thank you.**


	23. December, 26 – 2003

**Disclaimer: I don't ****own Drake&Josh.**

December, 26 – 2003

Merry Christmas?

Well, not for the Parker-Nichols. Drake smashed Mom's car yesterday. Thank God the airbag worked. We spent the whole night at the hospital but now he's back.

Mom asked us to switch beds so he has more space and comfort. He has a bandage over his chest, thus meaning he's lying in his pajama pants and nothing else.

His bed smells better than it should.

God, please don't let me be gay. PLEASE.

J.N.

**Thank you.**


	24. January, 02 – 2004

**Disclaimer: I don't own Drake&Josh.**

January, 02 – 2004

Happy New Year!

This years' resolutions?

Graduating and going to UCLA.

Getting things fixed with Mindy. Whatever that may be.

Getting over Drake, once and for all!

He's doing better, btw. His chest is not hurting anymore and he only has some minor bruises now. I got my bed back too.

J.N.

**Hint: ****high drama on the horizon. Stay tuned. =]**

**Thank you.**


	25. February, 28 – 2004

**Disclaimer: I don't ****own Drake&Josh.**

February, 28 – 2004

I'm not talking to Drake. Never, never more!

Unless he apologizes. To me and Mindy.

What he did was unforgivable.

He doesn't like her? Fine. But that doesn't mean he can act like he did.

We were in my room. Me and Mindy. We were alone at home. Things got hot.

We're young and full of hormones, I think it's only natural that we wanna touch each other.

But Drake doesn't see it that way. He arrived suddenly and started yelling at us like a banshee on fire. 'What the f*ck is going on here??'

Before I knew Mindy was jumping to her feet yanking her tank top down and doing her best to put on her flats.

I tried to explain but it was useless. Drake kept screeching about how we were invading his space and that our room was sacred.

The worst part was yet to come, he called Mindy names. Terrible stuff.

After I drove Mindy home I came back to get him.

We yelled at each other. Mom and Dad had to intervene.

He told me to get lost and then walked away.

He's sleeping in the basement.

J.N.

**Eep!**

**Thank you.**


	26. March,04 – 2004

**Disclaimer: I don't ****own Drake&Josh.**

March,04 – 2004

Nearly a week and we're still not talking.

J.N.


	27. March, 09 – 2004

**Disclaimer: I don't ****own Drake&Josh.**

March, 09 – 2004

Drake caught a cold. Dad locked the basement and told him to go back to our room.

So he's back.

We're still not talking.

J.N.


	28. March, 30 – 2004

**Disclaimer: I don't ****own Drake&Josh.**

March, 30 – 2004

Mindy says I should forget about it because it's no big deal, but I won't.

I don't call his girlfriends bitch.

J.N.

**A/N Since the chapters are really short I updated three times. In case you missed it go back and check.**

**Thank you. More later.**


	29. April, 25 – 2004

**Disclaimer: I don't ****own Drake&Josh.**

April, 25 – 2004

I'm so angry! Like really angry!

Drake just sprawls on the couch watching reruns of 'Celebrities in a submarine' and doesn't even bother to call me to watch it with him.

Mom and Dad hardly can believe it. It's been 2 months and we're still not talking.

And this time I'm NOT giving in.

J.N.

p.s. I miss him though. It hurts so much.

**Thank you. More later.**


	30. April, 26 – 2004

**Disclaimer: I don't ****own Drake&Josh.**

April, 26 – 2004

We kissed again.

He didn't even say a word. He just walked up to me and kissed me.

I did nothing to stop him. In fact, I kissed him back.

Definitely, I'm gay!

J.N.

**Aww.**

**Thank you. **


	31. May, 22 – 2004

**Disclaimer: I don't ****own Drake&Josh.**

May, 22 – 2004

Me and Mindy have been talking a lot about our future.

We talk about Prom Night and safe sex too.

No, we haven't done it yet! She asked me to wait but sometimes I don't know how long I can wait.

17 and still a virgin? That's ridiculous. Even for me.

On a brighter side, when I arrived home today Drake was sitting on the couch watching 'Celebrities in a Motor Home'. He opened his arms and was like 'Come hither, baby'. How could I say no to that?

J.N.

p.s. I'm starting a diet.

**Thank you. More soon.**


	32. June, 28 – 2004

**Disclaimer: I don't ****own Drake&Josh.**

June, 28 – 2004

It was Drakes' birthday yesterday.

He said he wanted to spend the day with me. And so we did.

We went to the beach, ate ice cream and sat there laughing and talking our minds away.

I was so distracted by Drake I forgot to apply sunscreen. Now I look like Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer (Megans' words). But I guess it's ok since I had so much fun.

J.N.

p.s. 35 pounds off and counting.

**Thank you. More soon.**


	33. August, 09 – 2004

**Disclaimer: I don't ****own Drake&Josh.**

August, 09 – 2004

Me and Mindy broke up. We decided we had different plans for ourselves. While I want to go to UCLA she wants to spend a year traveling. She said she spent all her life in school and now she wants a break. I agreed with her.

We're still friends though.

Since I told Drake he's been wearing a huge smile splattered all over his face. That mofo! haha

J.N.

p.s. 41 pounds off and counting. Yay!

**So, they finally went splitsville! I can hear your sque****aks of delight. lol**

**Thank you. More soon.**


	34. November, 10 – 2004

**Disclaimer: I don't ****own Drake&Josh.**

November, 10 – 2004

Happy birthday to me!

18 y.o.

Quite something, eh?

J.N.

p.s. OMG!! Drake just asked me to be his boyfriend!!! he says he wants to take me seriously from now on. I'm so…I think I'm gonna die.

**Thank you.**


	35. December, 30 – 2004

**Disclaimer: I don't ****own Drake&Josh.**

December, 30 – 2004

I'm a train wreck! So many things going on! It's maddening!

I was accepted at UCLA!

I'm getting thinner and growing my hair.

Thanks to Drake I finally met OPRAH (well, sort of).

Also: Drake found out I'm [still] a virgin and said he wanted to help. This made me go so hard I nearly tore the fly open with my you-know-what and I'm not even kidding.

He says he wants to go slow with me but truth is I'm kind of tired of things going slow. We've been practicing a lot though. : )

Guess I'm really gay. haha

J.N.

p.s. 70 pounds off, everybody says I'm looking great and I feel it too.

**Thank you.**


	36. January, 12 – 2005

**Disclaimer: I don't ****own Drake&Josh.**

January, 12 – 2005

In exactly 6 months I'll be heading to UCLA.

Drake still asks me to go with him to L.A. but I can't. I've wanted to do UCLA like all my life. Besides, he hasn't signed anything yet; he doesn't even know what L.A. will bring. He's not very pleased with my decision but someone has to be the tough guy. haha

Meanwhile, I took a task as his 'personal sidekick', it's fun actually. I drive him to the gigs and help him with the show. Basically I hold his guitar when he's not performing, fetch him water and latte and fix up the 'meet and greet' part. While I'm there with the 14 y.o. girls I get to answer random questions like 'What's it like to be his brother?'

( I'm blessed); 'Does he have a secret girlfriend?' (Can I say 'me'? haha);

'What does he wear to sleep?'(If I say his birthday suit would it be too shocking??).

Then we go home and he's so tired he sleeps on top of me.

J.N.

p.s. I can't believe I'm still writing this. Haha

**Thank you.**


	37. February, 02 – 2005

**Disclaimer: I don't ****own Drake&Josh.**

February, 02 – 2005

Mom said I should buy some stuff for UCLA.

So I went out and bought tube socks, boxer briefs, sweat pants, t-shirts, jammies, a flashlight - you never know -, 5 pens, 3 pencils, a sharpener, 2 bottles of Pepto-Bismols, Os' latest issue and a pair of silky boxers. If we're gonna do it I wanna look my best for Drake.

I also bought scented candles. Saw it in a movie. So romantic. 3

Drake says he'll provide rubbers. He keeps a loaded box in his wardrobe.

J.N.

**Thank yo****u. **


	38. February, 11 – 2005

**Disclaimer: I don't ****own Drake&Josh.**

February, 11 – 2005

Finally. FINALLY we're gonna do it!!

Mom and Dad are going to L.A. for the weekend. Megan's sleeping over her friends' pajama party.

I'm a hot mess already!

J.N.

**Next chapter prepare ****for smuuuuuuuuuuuuut! lol**


	39. February, 13 – 2005

**Disclaimer: I don't ****own Drake&Josh.**

February, 13 – 2005

Yesterday was the most beautiful day of all my life. So beautiful I wanna write it down so I can remember it forever.

We were alone at home, showering, when I announced I had to go back to the room. Of course Drake wasn't pleased but he said ok and kept there.

As soon as I entered my room, ours, I changed and lit the candles settling everything to picture perfect.

When Drake finally arrived, wrapped in a white towel over his waist I already was in bed, waiting impatiently for him.

He looked around surprised and I was like 'All for you, sweetheart' and he answered smiling ' It's your special day, not mine'; before I knew he was lying by my side and we were kissing.

Drakes' kisses were so soft yet so willing. His hands collided to my hips pulling me closer. I knew there would be bruises today but I didn't care, all I wanted was him touching me.

Short after the towel was gone he peeled off my boxers in no time, leaving no restrains to our desires.

I looked down as he grabbed both our cocks in one hand and jacked off mercilessly.

I was about to faint when he stopped abruptly turning around and opening the nightstands' drawer. He took out 4 packages of condoms, a bottle of lube and looked at me. 'Are you ready?'

That look. 

At that moment I'd do anything for him. Anything.

It was then that my brain turned into a total mush. He placed the package in my hand and said 'Do you remember how to use one of these? We practiced'. I looked back at him in awe. 'What - - What do you mean?' I asked dumbfounded. 'Just put it on' He answered lying back and spreading his legs so gracefully it was like a vision of heaven.

My fingers fidgeted over the offending involucre until Drake sighed and helped me out. His well trained fingers wrapping my shaft perfectly.

'Come here, baby,' He murmured condescendingly holding me close. 'Just relax and go for it. You know what to do.' He said softly into my ear. Only, at this point, I didn't. I was afraid of doing something wrong and end up blowing everything I so expected for.

It was like floating…in a dream.

But as soon as he pushed his hips up and guided my throbbing dick to his lubed entrance I knew it was not a dream.

My eyes tightened shut as I entered him. His warmth and smoothness involving me completely. My lunges grew faster and erratic.

'I love you!' I cried as I reached the apex, totally out of control. 'I love you more.' Drake howled back, his entire body arching under mine.

We laid there in each others arms for a long time, our bodies calming slowly from our heaves. My tears fusing with his as we dozed off to sleep.

J.N.

**Thank you. My sex scenes suck.**


	40. March, 14 – 2005

**Disclaimer: I don't ****own Drake&Josh.**

March, 14 – 2005

Today was my last day at the Premiere.

After 3 fulfilling years it's time to move on. I think I'll never be able to thank Helen for everything she did for me.

She gave me a sense of responsibility, she believed in me when she didn't even know who I was, she taught me to be strong when everything else was falling apart.

When I was ready to leave she called me to her office. As I entered she offered me a seat an handed me a plain red box adorned with a golden ribbon. I opened a big smile because I love surprises so much and when I opened the said box I could hardly believe.

She gave me a Golden Vest! Something I've been craving for years! Helen explained she was ready to promote me this year if I didn't leave to UCLA.

We hugged and held our tears. I swallowed the lump in my throat and thanked her. She smiled back and said that after Drake I was the best employee she ever had. Even better than Crazy Steve! How cool is that?

I'm gonna miss that place so much…I think I'm gonna miss entire San Diego.

J.N.

p.s. Mindy sent me a postcard from Sri Lanka. She's loving it!

**Thank you.**


	41. May, 29 – 2005

**Disclaimer: I don't own Drake&Josh.**

May, 29 – 2005

This is my last entry.

I decided I have too many memories over my shoulders.

Drake won't stop whining and pulling tantrums. It's killing me already. It'd be funny if it wasn't sad.

Mom told him to stop. Dad ignores. Megan just laughs.

As for me I've made up my mind. I'm NOT quitting UCLA.

Drake goes on and on saying I don't love him but he knows it's not true. I'm leaving because I love him more than my own life.

If we survive summer then we can survive anything, he just doesn't get it.

I really can't understand why he doesn't get it. UCLA is not even out of State like I first intended. I will be in Los Angeles all the time, just because we're not sleeping in the same room and meeting everyday doesn't mean we're actually divorced. He can even visit on a weekly basis. So what's the big deal?

Besides, as I tell him, we will always have San Diego. haha

J.N.

_"Memory is the diary that we all carry about with us."_ - Oscar Wilde

San Diego, CA 05/29/2005

**Last chapter too. Hope you enjoyed it. Thank you for taking your time. **

**(I hope I get this right and sorry if I forgot someone, I tried my best)**

**Thanks**

**Gracias**

**Obrigada**

**Danke**

**Dankie**

**Tak**

**Kiitos**

**Aitäh**

**Bedankt**

**Grazie**

**Takk**

**Hvala**

**Merci**

شكرا


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